hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
