i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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