this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize