can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
