Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
