but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
