I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you win again, gameday.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
