maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize