Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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