I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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