We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
