i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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