i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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