New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
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I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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