You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
