just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
