His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
