marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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