She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
