38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
