Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
