I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
