Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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