Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
