STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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