I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize