Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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