i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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