Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
