This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
