Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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