Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
FUCK WHALES
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