we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
