they need to just BURY HIM!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
