He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
