if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
