If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
