oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
