I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
