marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
