Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
