Is it because I queefed?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
