what day is it and did you see me today?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize