Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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