In the future we'll all be gay
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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