A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
