a queef is a wish your heart makes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
