So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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