apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
