Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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