Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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