i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
