Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
