I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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