yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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