We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's rum buckets o'clock
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
