just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
