I looked at my own cervix.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
