I'm drive I can fine osifer
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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