You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
