I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
