I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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