Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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