Cold hands, warm shart.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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