girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
