You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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